23 March 2010
20 March 2010
People unravel backwards, different from ribbon unrolling or rules carved in stone; with us, it starts in the core, a burning itch in the marrow, and spills out sloppily from the bones, breaking free of ligaments and neurotransmitters, and bursts through muscles in aerobic respiration, and squeezes out of skin like blood seeping from under nails. It grows in the heart and ages in the stomach, finally left to rattle behind emaciated ribcages like an acid-spewing fang-bearing beast, or Barabbas shaking the bars to be set free, or wind wildly gusting at a loose window in the not quite silence of the city night.
11 March 2010
Well, it's over and official. We've broken up. I am, as expected, a mess, and trying to study for a midterm that I have to take tomorrow. Not really a good combination. Please wish me well, if you get a spare moment, and I will return the favor. Will blog soon, after a proper period of studying, test-taking, relaxing, being sad, etc. Probably not too long, I can't not write.
09 March 2010
It's that twisting, tumbling-stomach feeling. The one that makes you simultaneously want to puke and just curl up in a ball for hours unmoving. It's fear, and anxiety, and guilt, and sorrow. Stuck together like the wad of chewed gum gathering under desks and on subway station poles. I have a bad feeling about this, and it makes me sad. What can you say when someone tells you they don't know how they feel about you anymore? What can you say when, the day after you celebrate your 1 year anniversary, someone tells you they don't think about you when you're not around? That sometimes they'd rather be out than being with you? That they think you don't have in common (when you know that what they really mean is, you have everything in common except for the fact that they like to go out and drink/party and you don't)? I don't know. There's not too much I can say. Just left with this wrenching, roiling-stomach feeling.
05 March 2010
Think it's over-hyped? Extremely worried about it? I'm uncertain about how disastrous I think it is, myself, but I completely agree with this video, and think everyone should watch it and pass it on. (Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zORv8wwiadQ)
04 March 2010
we substitute the fan's relentless hum for conversation while we sneak glances at each other over blue china like children peering under beds to check for monsters. stay awake, and the bogeyman can't scare you with those slick, acid fangs of Jealousy and the flat, flabby mouth of Greed, slobbering against the curving thigh of Mistrust, enticed by the aching wetness of Insatiable. we hold each other's bodies like chopsticks; we trade condiments instead of kisses. hand me that tube of mayonnaise. i'd like some salt for these fries. pass the relish, please. if only we could learn how to wake ourselves up.