The Early Morning Starbucks Writer

that guy in the brown
cap and plaid shirt?
with the beeper
on his belt and going grey?
yeah, he's a writer.

i know because
i see a word document open on his laptop and what looks
like the structure of a poem, and he's staring out of the window
but not really seeing anything, and occassionally he stops to tap
his fingers on his leg, as though trying to decide what witty metaphor
to construct next, and then he'll type a word or two, and then highlight
what he's just written and read it over -- once for typos, twice to decide
whether it makes sense, and a third to realize he doesn't like it, and then
he deletes it and tries again and that's the process of writing: staring, tapping
writing and reading and deleting until finally, either out of defeat or satisfaction,
something
sticks.

Weather Forecast

i watch businessmen with starbucks lattes and women in tight spandex hurrying to the gym and a police car crusing lights off - safe for now - and someone who stops in the middle of the sidewalk to sneeze and then looks up eyes catching mine as if to say how could you and i am ashamed at watching the world through windows instead of venturing outside so maybe maybe maybe tomorrow

but only if there's no more rain

Photos and Goodbyes

This weekend I went down to the Williamsburg waterfront with Todd and some friends, and yesterday I had to say goodbye to one of my best friends, Beyza, because she's moving to Chicago. Here are some photos from both events:

One of my favorite pictures of Todd

And one of me, of course.

Spring rolls with pineapple sauce and pineapples that Beyza and I shared during out last meal togethe rbefore she moves.

Best Friends <3

a simile for the latest heartbreak

i woke up and the snow outside had piled past the porch. i wrapped myself in one blanket, and then another, and then three more. i lay in bed and walked through mental deserts. the heat and the electricity had both failed some time during the night. dad's fish all floated face up in their tanks. we lit candles and turned on the gas stove, which we knew could burn down the house. but maybe burning fast would hurt less than freezing slow. we hadn't noticed the sudden outage around midnight, but now we all shivered and curled up and wished we could go back to sleep and pretend that everything was still okay.

it was like that.

x-ray of first heartbreak

at midnight under a streetlamp i first saw your shadow

you had furry fruit bat wings and your eyes burned
like grains of salt on our tongues
i’m scraping it now just to keep it clean
i couldn’t see your arrogance, just your innocence


walked into a room and saw an aging dentist
with his hand up his patient’s skirt
our love hung upside down with its eyes closed
balancing by its very tiny feet
and we bit the insides of each other’s cheeks
so we could taste them bleed
i said, wrap around me with those wings
the wind is way too cold

at midnight under a streetlamp your heart hid
a wisdom tooth that hadn’t broken skin
we talked about bobsledding and hotel pools
i didn’t realize you knew the grammar of deceiti couldn’t see your pessimism, just your body
swathed in tight black jeans, i can see your ribcage
heave with every thrust or laugh or sob

walked into a room with my mother and father and brother
praying and wearing pink headdresses like displaced aboriginals
from outer space i moved to kiss you but you disappeared
and left me with this ache this cavity
filled with the bones of fledgling dinosaurs

i took refusge in a room

that made me seem good and brave

A Pound of Flesh, a Grain of Salt

I've never thought of myself as heavy, but absolutely no one would say I'm thin, either. Since high school, my weight climbed from 125 lbs to 137 lbs. It's not an abnormal weight gain, really, but since I'm only 5'1, it wasn't hard to tell. When I went to my doctor earlier in the summer, he told me that I needed to reduce my weight, at least to 130.

I've always viewed diets and exercise regimes with a grain of salt. I refused to give up eating junk food, or fast food, or any kind of food, and I refused to do intense exercise more than once or twice a week, and I definitely didn't want to pay $80 per month for a gym membership. But I had to lose the weight.

So I decided to actually listen to something my mom always tells me: Everything is alright in moderation. I cut my fast food eating to twice a month. And although I miss random Taco Bell runs, I do feel better because of it. I tried to keep my candy consumption down, with only one major candy binge every few weeks. I started doing a little bit of exercise every week, sometimes with my brother and sometimes on the treadmill.

It's been a few months now, and I've lost about 5 or 6 pounds. Is that a miracle? No. It hasn't been easy and it hasn't happened quickly, but I'm getting down to my target weight, one pound at a time. Sometimes, taking it slow and easing into it works better than jumping on a dietary bandwagon. If I want to keep off this weight, I have to maintain a lifestyle change, not just a temporary fix.

To calculate your own body mass index (BMI), use this calculator. The cool thing about it is that it compares you to the national averages for the U.S., which looks pretty bad to me.

Weekend Roundup

It seems like Monday always comes too fast. This weekend I went to Todd's cousin's sweet 16 party and mostly just played Scrabble with him and our respective families. His sister took this photo of us with her iPhone.

In other news, this morning I realized that a hazy, indie band that I really like - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - has an album coming out pretty soon, "Hysterical." It's streaming for free right now on National Public Radio (NPR), so here's a link for your listening pleasure. Listening so far, I feel that this is their most accessible album yet, given the fact that you can actually understand at least half of the lyrics. Let me know your thoughts.

News and Views

Although I've wanted to, I haven't gotten a chance to post much in the last week or so because I've been pretty busy at work and writing event listings for amNewYork. But then I thought, "Wait a minute! I should be sharing my work!" So here it is:

Check out the September issue of Tax Stringer, an online newsletter aimed at CPAs, accountants, or anyone interested in tax. I basically edited all of the stories here.

Or, check out the September issue of The Trusted Professional, a newspaper with more general stories and a focus on New York chapters, which is the part that I'm mostly involved with.

New issues of each publish on the first of every month, so stay tuned!


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In other news, I loved my one year anniversary celebration with Todd last Monday. We went to see HAIR on Broadway during its brief stint with the touring cast and, as always, it was wonderful. Todd enjoyed it as well. Unfortunately, we both noticed that the theatre remained strikingly empty throughout the performance, and we were both surprised that more people hadn't taken the advantage to view the show before it disappears again.

Next week is a new week, and hopefully I'll have some new posts then, too! Until then, have a great weekend, readers!