x-ray of first heartbreak

at midnight under a streetlamp i first saw your shadow

you had furry fruit bat wings and your eyes burned
like grains of salt on our tongues
i’m scraping it now just to keep it clean
i couldn’t see your arrogance, just your innocence


walked into a room and saw an aging dentist
with his hand up his patient’s skirt
our love hung upside down with its eyes closed
balancing by its very tiny feet
and we bit the insides of each other’s cheeks
so we could taste them bleed
i said, wrap around me with those wings
the wind is way too cold

at midnight under a streetlamp your heart hid
a wisdom tooth that hadn’t broken skin
we talked about bobsledding and hotel pools
i didn’t realize you knew the grammar of deceiti couldn’t see your pessimism, just your body
swathed in tight black jeans, i can see your ribcage
heave with every thrust or laugh or sob

walked into a room with my mother and father and brother
praying and wearing pink headdresses like displaced aboriginals
from outer space i moved to kiss you but you disappeared
and left me with this ache this cavity
filled with the bones of fledgling dinosaurs

i took refusge in a room

that made me seem good and brave