09 March 2010
It's that twisting, tumbling-stomach feeling. The one that makes you simultaneously want to puke and just curl up in a ball for hours unmoving. It's fear, and anxiety, and guilt, and sorrow. Stuck together like the wad of chewed gum gathering under desks and on subway station poles. I have a bad feeling about this, and it makes me sad. What can you say when someone tells you they don't know how they feel about you anymore? What can you say when, the day after you celebrate your 1 year anniversary, someone tells you they don't think about you when you're not around? That sometimes they'd rather be out than being with you? That they think you don't have in common (when you know that what they really mean is, you have everything in common except for the fact that they like to go out and drink/party and you don't)? I don't know. There's not too much I can say. Just left with this wrenching, roiling-stomach feeling.