07 November 2008


"Reeds and brass, the marching drums Make a joyous sound Trees bend low with nuts and plums Then fall to find the ground. I hunger for your porpoise mouth And stand erect for love. The sun burns up the winter sky And all the earth is love." - Country Joe and the Fish ("Happiness is a Porpoise Mouth")
Sometimes I wonder what people think of when they see me on the subway, bobbing to music (which at this point is most likely either Country Joe and the Fish, Bert Sommer, or the Hair soundtrack), looking kind of crazy, singing along silently, not really giving a damn whether they're watching or not. Which, I don't. They can think whatever they want. I think I'm just curious to know people's reactions. To see whether or not it's something they judge me for. What kind of frame do they set up for me in their heads? Or is this just New York City, where they shrug it off and don't really form any opinions at all? I guess I won't know, but I speculate sometimes. If I saw someone bopping around to music on the subway, looking as crazy as I do, I'd surely talk to them, or at least send them over a smile. This girl on the subway smiled at me the other day. She looked like the type of person I would like to be. Plain, with nothing remarkable about her clothing. I don't even know if I remember what she was wearing, except for the glasses, which were big and bottle-like. Really old-fashioned, and nothing flashy. Long hair, brown, just straight down. Pretty average-looking face. And yet, I thought that she was probably the most beautiful female I've ever seen. Something about the way she carried herself, the way she seemed so natural. The easiness of her smile. The way it transmitted an unspoken, joyous sound. I would love to find someone brave enough to make a joyous sound, even if it meant everyone else would judge them for it. I would hunger for that porpoise mouth; I would burn the world with beautiful love. (I would not go to poetry readings alone.)

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