When's the last time you bought some lingerie?

You're single. You're searching, hoping, scanning every single guy you pass to see if he meets your ideal. You look at yourself in the mirror, but you're sure you still need to lose 10 more lbs. off your 120 lb. frame. You're still single a month later and you wonder what's wrong with you. But there's nothing wrong with you.

Trust me, I'm slightly chunky for my weight/height combo. But I do have a high level of self confidence about my body, which boths leads to and stems from a high respect for oneself. I always cringe when my best friend says, not joking, that she's going to end up as an old maid. Or that it doesn't matter when she wears ratty underwear and a bra that doesn't fit right, because no one is going to see them.

Self-respect has to start somewhere, because if you don't want to see yourself as a ferocious sex kitten, why would anyone else? It's not hard to develop a healthy collection of undergarments -- in fact, bras and panties have become some of my favorite items to shop for! Here are some steps and tips to help you get started:

1. Don't go for anything that feels too unnatural. If you're not the type of woman who likes lace and thongs, get something that feels less threatening -- maybe try a cute pair of boy shorts with a very low key, yet still stylish bra. (The "Pink" collection at Victoria Secret would be perfect for you). 2. If you are into lace and ribbons and push-ups and see-through corsets with matching fishnet tights, don't worry. You don't have to spend a lot of money if you hit up H & M. This quickly growing retailer is my favorite spot to buy sexy, yet reasonably priced, lingerie. And they carry every bra in sizes A through C, with certain selections offered in a D cup as well.

3. If you just can't seem to find lingerie that you think looks good, buy something anyway. Just make the leap. And try it on at home, maybe dance in front of the mirror for a while. Pretend you're a lingerie model. Remember, you want to look good for yourself. Even if no one else will see what you're wearing, you'll know, and you'll feel good about it.

4. Remember, self-respect, self-confidence, and self-love all come together in a circle, and you have to connect each part in order to feel good about yourself. Tell yourself that you're beatuiful, and intelligent, and deserving. And I promise, once you know how great you are, others will start to realize it too.